Intrusive relationships and thoughts: obsessive doubt in love
The obsessive doubt in relations presents itself in the form of intrusive, frequent and repetitive thoughts that question one sentimental relationship that the person is experiencing. For example: “I’m sure I really love him?”, “Could/could I be happier with someone else?” “Do I love him enough?”, “Will he really love me?”, “Is the best partner that I can find for me?”.
Similar thoughts can cross the mind of many people who live one sentimental relationshipaccompanied by a certain degree of concern regarding the satisfaction of the sentimental relationship and compatibility with your partner.
However, if such obsessive thoughts and doubts are very frequently and intrusively, with high levels of anxiety and also in different ones relationscan represent a problem.
Obsessive compulsive relationship disorder: when love must be perfect
Il Obsessive Compulsive Relationship Disorder It is one of the specific methods with which the obsessive-compulsive disorder can be presented: alongside the obsessive doubts that arrive in the mind by creating a high level of discomfort in the person, they can in fact take action real compulsions that delude themselves to be able to find absolute and mandatory certainty to the doubts that emerge regarding the partner and the relation.
Compulsions can therefore translate into real tests/checks to which the person undergoes to confirm the certainty of their feelings. An example could be: “If every evening I don’t feel the desire to have sexual intercourse with him, it means that I don’t really love him” or “the fact that the other day I was more taciturn with him does not make me feel calm and perhaps it means that I don’t love him”, “if I feel irritation in some moments, it is not the right person”. In other words, an attentive hyperfocalization on their internal states occurs while in it is in relation with the partner, ingesting distance and poor involvement in the here and time of the interaction.
In general, an extreme, dichotomous and perfectionist logic prevails, with an idealization of the relationship and how to be within one relation (absolute and whole duties): smudges are not allowed, it is necessary to have total certainty, it is not possible to integrate some negative emotional states in one relation overall positive.
Obsessive compulsive relationship disorder: the emotional cost of the need for certainty
Everything is not free of costs, but the person lives high levels of stress, mobble and emotional discomfort that inevitably pour into the relation: the constant research of reassurance through the so -called tests is related to negative dysfunctional emotions (for example, anxiety) that make the more tiring the sentimental relationship. Even sexual intimate life can suffer the effects of this brood constantly full of doubts, keeping attention on the thoughts of doubt and on the constant verification of “what I feel while I have sex with you”, inevitably affecting the level of authentic involvement and pleasure during the relationship. In the mind, erroneously convinced that the tests make sense, the result arrives: “I did not feel pleasure, I was detached, it means that I don’t love it”. The person can also get to avoid social and intimate situations in which doubts are activated.
These emotional thoughts and experiences related to obsessive doubts about affective relationships can emerge in different stages of the sentimental relationshipsfor example in conjunction with important decisions (e.g. marriage, coexistence), or in initial phases when the single person begins a frequentation. In this case, singles struggle in establishing and initiating sentimental relationshipsand some typical thoughts can be for example, “am I sure I’m not waste time leaving with her?”, “What if they actually make fun of it and I won’t come to love it enough?” “How can I be sure that I wouldn’t be in love with another?”.
Both at the beginning of one sentimental relationship That in conjunction with the possibility of relevant changes, the obsessive paralyzing doubt can emerge, that is, the fear make the wrong decision: and if I remained caged in a wrong relationship or if instead I could regret and regret forever that I lost it? “
Overcome obsessive compulsive disorder from relationship with cognitive-behavioral therapy
Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help to understand and manage the underlying mechanisms and the functioning of these obsessive-compulsive symptoms linked to pathological doubts that insinuate themselves into the person and in the relations. Therapy can offer valid possibility of working on the regulation of emotions, on the tolerance of uncertainty, perfectionism, self -esteem and on the processes of decision -making within the sentimental relationships.
